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Our Fulfillment, Our Desire, Our Hearts

Posted on Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 12:47AM by Registered CommenterSacred Saga Team | Comments2 Comments

  Introduction 

 

 

My recent move from the US to Hong Kong (see above picture of our seminary flat at the intersection between the two buildings on the third floor) allows me time to assess my material goods in terms of my needs and wants.  In this bittersweet time, I find many meaningful conversations with various people who offer to help me with the move.  In fact, I would say that the move was a community effort simply because I’m downsizing to half of the square footage of living space in Hong Kong.  I find the whole experience of giving stuff away to be psychologically liberating.  When I moved to England, I had a garage sale.  Both Helen and I find the whole process distressing to the point that we have decided to give our stuff away rather than spending time watching the garage only to bargain with greedy people who would squabble over 1% of the price.  It is simply not worth it.

The Hunt or the Kill?

One day, on my Facebook, my nephew asked the interesting question, “Are you more satisfied by the hunt or the kill?”  In other words, are we more satisfied with the process or the product?

This question fascinates me when I watch people bargain in garage sales.  I recall someone wanting some particularly cheap item that has already been marked down.  The price difference was only a few dollars.  Yet, this person insisted on knocking down the prices to the point of me giving the product away.  This particularly annoying person drove up in a fancy car.  He was by no means poor.  He enjoyed the hunt.

I was listening to another person who shared her experience of shopping.  She stated that if she was given something for free, she would be quite generous to share with others.  However, she was a bargain hunter.  She was shrewd with finding the right sales.  She too enjoyed the hunt.  At the same time, she also shared that it would be really hard for her to give away something she had put the effort into finding the right sales.  Her problem was not with the price of the item but with the time and effort she had invested.  Thus, she appeared to enjoy only the hunt, but she also enjoyed the kill at the same time. 

I think that different people find different parts of the shopping process a fascinating subject.  The question then is not merely whether the hunt or the kill was more satisfying but is more about what makes us tick.

Why is Value so Sentimental?

Before anyone accuses me of a judgmental attitude, I want to make clear that none of the above examples are particularly sinful or wrong.  Both examples had the right to do what they did.  I then trun the discussion on myself. 

It is particularly hard to figure out what to give away.  I think most people who know me would consider me a relational person.  I enjoy, treasure and prioritize relationships.  I’ve had friends all the way from high school through young adulthood who still keep in close touch with me.  Quite a few of them consider me to be one of their best lifetime friends.  I’m a sentimental person.  My wife also notices that I’m fiercely loyal to my friends who stand by me during crunch time.  With my personality, the stuff I have trouble getting rid of may not be stuff that has any real value.  I do not necessarily enjoy hunting for bargain.  Neither do I have trouble giving away stuff I’ve spent a lot of effort locating. 

I think the difference of how we deal with “things” has to do with where our heart is.  Although I still find many things having sentimental value, I’ve grown from this move to ask the real and practical question, “Would I miss this item 10 years from now?”  The question is sobering because what if I have to move in 10 years from now?  Do I want to go through the same deciphering process only to find stuff from 10 years ago that I just discovered I have?  This is a sobering process.  It is also a very good process because it makes me realize that sentimentality in decision-making is not quite enough.

People will find what I keep surprising after my long weeding out process.  I’ve kept this essay written by this young lady who was pastored by me.  She wrote a high school essay about a person she admired and that person was me.  I didn’t keep that essay to boost my ego because I know how far I fall short of her ideal minister still.  I kept her essay to remind me that sometimes, it is not the instant result that matters.  Her impact on me is long-term.  I know even in 10 years, that essay would still encourage me.

The Two Main Questions: Necessity and Long-term Impact

I used to think that instant gratification is the main culprit of why people do not want to part with their material goods.  I think the situation is much more complex.  Take the example of my friend who enjoys both a bargain and the reward.  Her effort in putting in the bargain might not match her need.  I have another friend who would shop in many incredible sales, but she also had many things that she did not need.  She only bought them because they were a good deal, and good deal makes her feel satisfied, though the poorer for wear.  Sometimes, it is the bargain, that painful yet delightful process, which keeps people from parting with their goods.  Their heart is in the planning.

When purchasing these days, I’ll have to ask myself a hard question.  Is the purchase necessary, even if it cheap?  Sometimes, sales trick the compulsive spender.  Money spent on a sale is still money.  Another question I ask then is whether the purchase has long-term value.  If something devalues quickly over time, perhaps it is better purchased shrewdly and conservatively rather than extravagantly. 

The Main Issue: Where Our Heart Is

What does the above reflection have to do with spirituality?  I think how we purchase and manage goods is highly spiritual.  Jesus stated long ago that His followers could not serve both God and mammon (Matt. 6.24).  Jesus was dealing with a heart issue, not just merely the choice between the hunt and the kill.  Our possession management style says a lot about who we are.  Our heart needs to be settled in the greater things and measure those things against the lesser things.  It is not enough just to claim commitment to the kingdom.  The process of commitment is ongoing questioning of our heart and motive.  It is not about our riches being sinful, but about how we manage what we have.  The process can be painful sometimes and is not black and white but is much more worthwhile than the simplistic solution. 

Reader Comments (2)

Great post. I am no hunter...I hate shopping.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Good perspective. I'm going to share it with my friends.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWillion

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